My Top 2 Colitis “Attack” Stories of the Decade

As the decade comes to a close, I thought I’d tell my favorite personal Colitis “Attack” stories. As all Crohn’s and Colitis patients know (by the way, I’ve been diagnosed with both over the years, but the latest is left-sided UC), when you gotta go, you gotta go. Here are 2 stories that illustrate that fact.

Story #2

I was taking summer classes to get ahead with some college credits. It was a beautiful day as I was walking across the campus of a local NJ University. And then I had an “attack”. It was super-urgent…so I had few choices. My instinct was to run to a nearby tree and do my thing. And that’s exactly what I did. Then I headed inside, cleaned up and went to my first day of summer school class. 10 minutes into the session, 3 uniformed police officers and a young woman walked in. The young woman pointed me out and the uniformed officers escorted me to the hallway. I had been reported for indecent exposure. After a lengthy explanation and a call to my doctor for confirmation of my condition, I was released and the young woman apologized (she was nice). However, the lead officer was not so understanding. She (lead officer was a woman) said, and I quote, “You either need to wear some sort of adult diaper or you need to stay home. Now you can go”. I will never forget that. And no…I never returned to that class. To this day, I’m sure everyone who was in that classroom thinks I’m a hardened criminal.

Story #1 (my favorite)

I played basketball in high school and my colitis was pretty active at the time. My friends and teammates were very understanding about my condition and I maintained a healthy sense of humor about it as a result. I would have bouts of “urgency” during times of increased stress, like right before a game. This led to many situations where I was being announced in the starting lineup and someone else ran out onto the court during the intros. You might say I had a body double. But one incident stands head and shoulders above the rest. It was during a big game in the Christmas Tournament. I was at the foul line about to shoot the front end of 2 foul shots and I had the urge. In a matter of seconds, I was forced to make a decision. Option #1 – Stay on the court and create a second foul line with my stool (sorry)…or Option #2 – run. I chose option #2. Seconds after the ball left my hand, I ran directly into the locker room. As you can imagine, everyone in the gym who wasn’t a friend, teammate or relative was thoroughly confused. And I’m sure many of them never got a full explanation. My team was given a “technical time out” (still not even sure what that means) and someone else shot the second free throw for me…which was great because I was a terrible free throw shooter.

To my fellow IBD patients: These situations can be terribly embarrassing. Always remember…the situations themselves don’t reflect who you are as a person. How you choose to handle these situations is another story. Maintain a sense of humor and educate others…